Let me introduce to you a new kind of article on my blog: FibroFiles. I’ll put a little warning up here; In these blogposts I will be showing the bad & the good of my Fibromyalgia, the chronical illness I am experiencing the most. It’ll also include some other diseases I have.
Januari has been a very hard month for me. Obviously, it is the month after a very busy month. Christmas, New Years.. Sometimes I am scared of these holidays because for me they don’t only mean family, food, happiness… But also a lot of interaction, traveling to visit people all around the Netherlands and a lot of strain on my body. The holidays are a lot of fun.. But the aftermath is a whole lot less fun. Directly after the first day of the year I began experiencing a whole lot of pain, fatigue and like a milion other symptoms. Next to that; Holiday food is not very kind on my bowel system. I have Irritatable Bowel Syndrome and that means I can’t eat everything I want. And then we have the fact that I can’t handle lactose at all. Let me tell you: It’s difficult to keep lactose out of your diet. So when I eat at other peoples places then it means I’ll be in pain. Everything together made it a really difficult start of the year.
The second week of Januari I really broke down. I had a really difficult time. Somehow my health said ‘f*ck you’ to me and I got a fever, pain everywhere, I couldn’t keep my food inside.. It was a rollercoaster and it was a bad one. I felt tired the entire time, I slept like 12 hours a day and it just really was a rough week. It took me an entire week to even be able to get out of bed on a normal time. I just couldn’t do it and it really annoyed me. I still have to work on accepting that I have days, or even weeks, where I can’t do anything. It’s really emotional and tiresome and it really hurts. Not only physically but also emotionally. Just imagine your mind racing around, but having these blurry edges. You just can’t get to focus. I couldn’t even truly work on my blog that week. Then we have al the body problems that come with it.. Fibromyalgia is a Chronic Pain Syndrome, which means that I am always in pain. There is no moment that there is no pain at all, but I simply don’t notice anymore. The pain in my shoulders that is always there? It gets pushed to the back of my head and I simply don’t notice the pain. That’s what a Chronic Pain Syndrome means; You deal with the pain any way you can. If you have multiple diseases then it’s even harder. This week I experience a fever and I couldn’t keep food inside of my stomach. My health is really low, which means I get sick really easily. And those moments that I am sick hit me really hard.
Week three of Januari had been especially hard. By now my exams were really catching up on me and if there is one thing I can’t handle well when I am already not feeling that good then it is stress. Let’s say that my exams brought a lot of stress along with them. My school became my priority and I concentrated fully on that. Of course I have a couple of blogposts I wanted to finish, but I couldn’t juggle both my school, blogging, social life, feeling unwell and pretty much everything at the same time. So I made a decision. I was planning to post twice a week, but well that obviously was not going to happen. So I decided that once a week was a better idea. Then I could concentrate on my education and health a little bit more untill I am graduated. Who knows what the future will bring and maybe I’ll post twice within a few months or weeks when I feel better. The stress brought along a lot of pain in my joints and a lot of headache.
The last two weeks of Januari were a bit weird. I am hypermobile, which means my joints can bent a little further than most. Together with Fibromyalgia it can be a very interesting combination. So my joints decided to pop out of their socket on the moment’s I can’t have them pop out of their sockets.. Like in the middle of my exams.. Please don’t do that.. I managed to deal with it, though. So I think that’s a proud moment for me. Health-wise I had my good & my bad days. I didn’t get sick for multiple days again, but I still had days that I decided to stay home. This increase in bad days is quite normal for me in the winter.. But I look forward to springtime! Warmer weather means less pain!
That was my januari. It wasn’t the best month, but I did the best I could with the good days that I had! There was a whole lot of bad, so sorry for that! Let’s hope for a better month in February!